Psalm 121—The Strange Light Fell On You and the Roses Like a Spear

"What you all lived together, each remembered differently..."

A Note From Andy

Now that the grant to write about why people leave Christianity has elapsed, the Psalm poetry has also slowed. By the looks of it, I’m putting out one post on the Darkling Psalter a month. With 21 Psalms done as of today, that leaves only 10.75 years of work ahead. Yikes. But never fear, the current plan is to compile the first 30 as a published volume (one-fifth of the whole Psalter). And we are only nine Psalms away from that milestone.

For your reference, here are the Psalms completed so far: 1, 8, 14, 19, 22, 29, 32, 34, 42, 46, 51, 53, 73, 84, 86, 88, 107, 130, 137, 142. And here is the Guided Tour post.

Here is Psalm 121.

Rendition of Psalm 121

I lift up my eyes to the mountains and ask,
”From where does my help come?”
My help comes from the Lord,
Who made the heavens and the earth.

He will not let your wavering stride slip.
He who watches your step does not sleep.
The one who guards Israel
Grows neither faint nor weary.

The Lord is your keeper;
He is the shade at your right hand.
The sun will not strike you by day,
Nor the moon by night.

The Lord is your watch and ward from evil;
He will guard your life.
The Lord will keep your going out
And your return
From this time forth and forevermore.

Notes on the Rendition

The Psalms of Ascent

Psalm 121 is one of the fifteen Psalms of Ascent (Psalms 120-134) that O. Palmer Robertson in The Flow of the Psalms says, “anticipate the movement of God’s people toward… Mount Zion, in fulfillment of the covenantal promise to David concerning a permanent dwelling place for God’s house.” These psalms have been variously interpreted to refer to the fifteen steps leading up to the temple, to the pilgrimages Israelites would make during the three annual feasts, and to the return from exile. Whatever their purpose in worship, it seems clear that their focus was God’s temple and God’s city since each of these short psalms contains a reference to Zion or Jerusalem.

Another feature of the structure of these psalms can be seen when you compare them to the words of the Aaronic blessing from Numbers 6:24-27 which has four parts:

1. May the Lord bless you (Psalm 128, 133, 134)

2. And keep you (Psalm 121)

3. And be gracious to you (Psalm 123, 130)

4. And give you peace. (Psalm 120, 122, 125, 128)

The parts of the Aaronic benediction form a frame across which the canvas of the Psalms of Ascent have been stretched. In particular, Psalm 121 functions as an extended exposition on the idea that the Lord will keep and guard Israel. The word “keep” (shamar) occurs six times in the five verses of the psalm.

Notes on the Poem

This is a poem about getting stuck. It is about holding onto the half-truths you need to maintain your precarious inner status quo even while people all around you are gently trying to give you truths you aren’t ready for. 

As I wrote this, the phrase of Paul’s that goes “his kindness leads you to repentance” has been in my mind. What a staggering indication of God’s nature. If that is the kind of God that walks with us, perhaps he will keep walking until we loose ourselves from the shame, blame, and anger we can get so easily entangled in? However, there is so often a distance between the realities of the promises of God and our readiness to receive them. Sometimes we have to go on a long walk before we become the type of people who are ready to repent at all. Sometimes we read the story of our lives “wrong for years” and the best we can hope for is patient friends who will walk beside us as long enough to be there when we come to our senses.

It is a comforting thought that, just like the Israelites in the desert, the fire walks beside us in a pillar. It stops when we stop. When we plunge forward, it moves too. It is patient and kind even though it is not to be trifled with. It keeps no record of past wrongs, though it forgets nothing and deals with them all in order to part us from them. It hopes all things and bears all things, but it knows there are times when our clenched fists need to be pried away from what we’re holding onto.

That is what this poem is about. His kindness leads you to repentance, but that doesn’t mean you will never get lost. It just means you won’t be alone and it will never be too late.

Poem for Psalm 121—The Strange Light Fell On You and the Roses Like a Spear

I.

That day you walked the hills 
To say goodbye just before Autumn ended 
You watched some inward horizon,
Waiting for help. The land wore a fine snow.
The wind circled in the grass like wolves.
The footpath held a keen edge and you were cut.
Your firegod kept pace with you in the field,
A little ahead, a little to one side.
The pillar moved at a walk.
Sheep fled from it as it blackened 
A long line in the grass backwards,
Bursting open the bristlecone 
And setting the stiles on fire as if they weren’t there.
You watched it from the corner of your eye
And hunched yourself against the cold
And were surprised to find 
The crushed heads of roses in your hands.
The light flickered and you longed to be overthrown
But what you felt was angry.

II.

You slipped back, alone and the others wandered on.
With each step, the fire moved and you moved with it. 
The others turned back and waited, as friends do.
They tarried even as you cursed them.
They could see it all.
How the long-fingered hands of grief pried at you.
How what you all lived together
Each remembered differently and how death
Carved itself so easily between you. 

You read it wrong for years.
You wanted to be right. 
You rehearsed both parts 
Of old conversations and lost sleep.
You could not hide what you’d suffered. 
Neither could you kiss your small fists 
And raise them to stream out windward.
You could only say,
“Thou pillaring God! Thou flare!
I am lost.”

The wind picked up and you couldn’t tell
If the things in it were blossoms or snow,
But the early cold burned like Pentecostal fire
And the strange light fell on you 
And the roses like a spear.

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Read more from Andy on Still Point (reflections on deconstruction and why people leave Christianity) and Three Things (a monthly digest of worthy resources to help people connect with culture, neighbor, and God).

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An idea can be a fragile thing and 150 poems and translations is a big idea. I meant this project to be ambitious though and, if it is ever complete, it will be the work of years.

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